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    July 28

    我要出去玩!

         我要出去玩!今晚的我突然有种想爆发的冲动,对着电话那头的妈妈不停地说“我要出去玩我要出去玩!……”老妈对我无端的发作很是莫名,一个劲问我是不是有什么不开心,我说没有,我就是想出去转转。
         工作两年多了。
         两年多了,工作渐渐步入轨道,但是日复一日无休止的重复和忙碌,生活被程式化,我很想深深深呼吸。某日下班坐在班车上,不想动、不想说话、不想思考,觉得累,从心里累。
         这个状态断断续续持续着,有时有种被耗尽的感觉,这种感觉无从言说,说得太多,怕让人觉得像怨妇,说得少了,又怕让人觉得矫情。
         这样的时候,回到家,不开电视,不开电脑,不开灯,屋子里很安静,安静得像空气也被抽空,不曾流动,就这么坐在沙发上,依旧不想动、不想说话、不想思考。
         今天回来的时候和璇聊天,和她的关系挺特别,平时其实不那么熟,但是偶尔坐下来聊天却都能聊得很深入很投机。她说莎,我挺佩服你的,一个人这样坚持,我以为你会是那种恋爱以后就会很黏的女孩。我笑,我倒是想黏来着啊。会心一笑后短暂的沉默。
         婷,最近我常想起那年的湘西,那火车上嬉笑睡去的,那水边很认真放逐莲花灯的,那午夜旅馆里被楼下酒吧吵得睡不着的,那在沱江上被对面游船缴械水袭的,那在苗寨陡峭的山崖上失足跌倒的,那在出苗寨时脸上被画得花里胡哨还不舍的擦去的,两个女孩。我还忘不了那个离去的暴雨的午后,我们如何逃离般的离开了凤凰,都没有来得及好好的告别。那一年的凤凰很美好,承载着两个女生离开校园的雀跃以及对未来生活的憧憬,我觉得,那年的凤凰可以作为一个起点,一条起跑线,后来的生活的种种,均是跑道上各种的障碍,如今终于重又回归美好,呵呵,不如何时再相约重游凤凰,还可以重拾当年错失的张家界。
         我要出去玩!短途的长途的,安静的热闹的,一个人的两个人的几个人的一群人的。
         一直在为生命做加法,直到生活被填的密不透风。现在,我想做的是为生命做减法,就像呼吸,想要吸入必先呼出,让大脑阶段性归零,好好休息后再重新出发。
        末了用尽今晚最后的力气大声对空气说,我要出去玩!!!!!!!!!
     

    Comments (4)

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    wrote:
    ......都想逃离现在的状态
    Sept. 6
    wrote:
    乖孩子
    July 30
    一下子也勾起了我毕业前和高中同学去凤凰的回忆....
    是要做减法了
    July 29
    Lan Fengwrote:
    走~姐陪你!
    其实我也老想去凤凰的,就是交通不方便~
    July 29

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